Innocence

Outi reading out loud
Outi: “Drinking during pregnancy can be harmful to your unborn baby.“
Mia: “Oh, I probably shouldn’t be drinking then. If I’m carrying satan’s child that is. Though… I doubt it would mind. So I’m drinking for two now!“

Mark draws a penis
Mia: “Aa, I’ve always wondered what they look like.“
Mark: “Now you know.“
Mia: “Good, now I know what to look out for.“

Out of context galore

Mia: “I’m happy“
Mark: “That my balls got touched?“
Mia: “Yes.”
Ioana: “That’s how sad you are.”

Ioana: “Mine was bigger.”
Mark: “No. I can barely see yours. Mine went straight to the bone“
Ioana: “Have you ever seen your bone?“

Mark: “I can show it to you. Put your glasses on.”
Mia: “I can see it without my glasses.“

Mark: “Do you know hard it is to fight people in caves?“
Ioana: “Yes, I do it all the time.“
Mark: “So you appreciate the effort that went into it.“

Mark: “I hope I will have friends.“

Mia: “I love the Irish people. They bring so much joy to my life.“

Ioana: “I never gave you crap about your sexlife.“

Ioana: “I think you got some on me too.“
Mia: “I made you wet?“
Ioana: “Yes, I think so“

Mark: “I love lasting longer than you guys.“

Flatmates

Mark: “Wow, it’s only 10?! I thought it would be like noon. It’s like going back in time.“
Mia: “You’ve been watching too much Star Trek.“
Mark: “No but if I woke up thinking that it’s two hours later than it actually is, that is like going back in time.“
Mia: “So what you gonna do with the extra 2 hours you just gained?“
Mark: “Watch Star Trek.“

Mia: “Yea, I’m never drinking again.“
Damien: “What? You’re never drinking again?“
Mia: “Damien, that was sarcasm.”
Damien: “Oh. Because if you’ll never drink again I’ll die as a virgin.”

Mark: “Women and steak are not so different. They’re both pieces of meat.“

What, Mark’s single? How could that be…

Mark: “That’s another good thing about being a farmer, you can talk however you want to the livestock.“

Mark: “I’m more about comedy, not about the whole having sex thing.“

Catching up

Drinking wine
Ioana: “This tastes different.“
Nora: “From water? Yes.“

Mark: “For anyone who’s curious, Ioana’s a dumb foreigner.“

Mark: “I had a third testicle and it became Mia.“

Mark: “Ioana’s so mean.“
Chris: “On the inside?“
Mark: “No, on the outside too.“

Chris: “Stop seeing us as friends, start seeing us as men.“

Chris: “I want a real girlfriend, not a UK one.“

Ioana holding back her compliments
Ioana: “I was helping you not being conceited. Though we both know you are.“
(Mia nods)
Mark: “Naah, occupational hazard of being awesome.“

Emma: “Maybe I’ll just start drunk texting you!“
Mia: “Yeah! I’ll drunk text you!“
(Emma and Mia high-five)
Josie: “You guys, that’s so sad.“

It’s all perfectly natural

Mark: “Nature’s napkin: your pants!“

Ole: “Let me conquer the vagina.“

Mia: “So you have a slightly larger cock than I do.“

Ioana: “Stop doing that, that’s not hygienic!“
Mark: “What is it with you and hygiene?“
Mia: “Uhmm.. She likes it?“

Mark: “It’s not so bad, getting bad things in your mouth.“

Mark: “Dear god, Wales is just a shitting hole for all the international corporations.“

Mia: “I seem like a really complex person. NOT. Pink + EU + dreams of grandeur = Mia“
Suvi: “Yea well… There is nothing wrong with that.“

Minna: “This just got me thinking, HOW can we have the same parentage? Mom must have been on crack or something when she was expecting me.“

Eminem, sounds like M&M doesn’t it? Oh it’s meant to? Crap, I thought I was being clever

Mark: “I’m hungry again, is that normal?“
Mia: “Your metabolism works in mysterious ways.“
Mark: “You have in depth knowledge about my metabolism?“
Mia: “No, wouldn’t that be worrying? Considering what it entails…“

Mia: “Our friendship’s gone too far when you start farting around me.“
Mark: “I love that you said when.“

And it’s back to business as usual

Mia: “Mark, don’t do that! That looks like you’re fingering your mouth.“
Mark: “That’s alright, I don’t mind. I’m practising.“

Rike: “I need a cock … tail. Barbara, will you please get me a cock … tail?“

This is why you don’t ask Mia about the EU

Rike: “Mia, what do you know about the European social model?“
Mia: “Well …” (goes on explaining for 5 minutes)
Rike: “Just send me the link later, I need to study for an exam now.“
Mia: “Sure, just let me send you the link.” (goes on explaining for another 20 minutes)
Rike: “Mia, I just wanted to say that its soo nice of you and that I’m very interested in talking to you about it but that until the exam I can’t bother with this topic anyway.“

Dreams of grandeur

Mia: “Mark… I don’t know what I want to do when I graduate. I think I’m most fit to rule a country.“
Mark: “I don’t know if I like the way you use the word rule.“

Andrew: “We had a really civilized night actually.“
Ruth: “Oh you did? I fell twice.“