Mark’s the man

Mark: “There are all kinds of cockblocks; events, humans… If a clown would burst through your window that for example would be a giant cockblock. Nobody wants to have sex if a clown fell through the window.“
Suvi: “That is very true.”

Mark: “You went to China and clicked your chopsticks. That’s what they do there, right?“

Mark, the master chef
Mark: “I don’t think it’s rotting, that might just be the turkey smell.“

Mark: “I get on women’s bad sides quite often.“

Mark: “You’re technically five months younger than I am. I still could have given birth to you.“

Modern women

Monica, a classy date
Monica: “So there I was, in his place, drinking a pint of wine. What had happened before was that I’d realised this bar had gin and lemonade for two pounds and I’d had like ten of them.“

Mia: “Oh my god, you boys are such girls.“

Eavesdropping and DUIs

Mark on the phone
Mark: “I don’t mind sucking a dong while cupping breasts.”
Mark: “You had the swine flu, really?” (bursts into laughter) “Did you like come close to dying?“

Kids, this is not how to do it
Mark: “I’m a very experienced drunk driver.”

Who needs friends anyway

Mia: “I can tell you’re making fun of me now.“
Emma: “You can tell I’m making fun of you now? I’ve been making fun of you all along.“
Mia: “I thought you were my friend.”

Overenthusiastic?

Who could they be talking about?
Emma: “You shouldn’t be allowed to blog or have that camera on you.”
Monica: “You’re the reason why citizen journalism is a bad idea.“

The Marky Mark show

Mark: “You know what they say about guys who have sticky palms?“
Mia: “They wank a lot?“
Mark: “No. Well yes. I’m not going to say mine now, yours is way better.“

Mark: “I’m restricting myself to one beer on non-drinking nights.“

Mark: “Apparently Ole’s obsessed with bodily fluids.“

Mark: “There’s a quote for you.“
Mia: “No, I’m trying to make you seem nicer.“
Mark: “No, it’s ok. This way people will be pleasantly surprised when they meet me.“

Mia: “Oh Mark, you’re stupid.“
Mark: “I prefer to think of myself as fun.“
Mia: “People will think I live with an imbecile.“
Mark: “Or a clever idiot.“

Mia: “All I want it world peace.“
Mark: “It’ll never happen.“
Ioana: “Says the American…“

Monica: “Mia’s right. That’s a really geeky thing to do, you should do it!“

Mia: “Uuuh, a spelling mistake. I’d spelled Chris as Christ.“
Mark: “I think I saw it earlier today but I was like , naah, he kinda is.“

Breakfast of champions

Monica: “You’re eating chocolate at 10 o’clock in the morning?“
Mia: “Yes. You want some?“
Monica: “Yes please.“

Keeping it real

Mia: “I don’t want to hang out with a condom and an elf.“

Ole has a problem: “I will go and network with my cigarettes now“

Chris to Mark: “What the fuck happened to your face?”

Mia: “Yea, that’s what I look for in a husband, a drinking habit.“
Ole to Chris: “What are you looking for in a wife, an eating buddy?“

Maren: “Do we have class tomorrow?“
Ole: “No, like a social thing“
Maren: “Oh social, I like social things“

Mia: “Are you laughing at the ironing board?“
Chris: “No, I’m laughing with the ironing board.“

Anand, the club-reviewer

Mia: “So how was Revolution?“
Anand: “Deaf“
Mia: “Deaf? That’s a new adjective to a club“
Anand: “Am kinda deaf. Music was average. The loos were clean though.“
Mia: “I do like sanitary bathroom facilities. Always a big factor in deciding where to partey“
Anand: “Me too. Even though contact with the “facility” is minimal when u are a guy.“
Mia: “Love the level of detail this conversation is entering“

How was your weekend?

Triin: “Should we sit or should we dance?“

Triin: “If it’s rat it’s fine.“
Mark: “Rats are good source of protein.“

Mark: “We used to have cows but that was before I was old enough to do anything with them.“

Mark: “So really, everybody’s a rapist at heart.“

Triin: “As a child I only used to eat the fat and leave everything else.“
Mark: “Were you perhaps a round child?“

Triin: “Don’t listen to me, I can have my own opinion.“

Mark: “It’s like a rap video but they have way more clothes on than what I’m used to.“

Triin: “Tell me more how crap America is.“

Damien’s sixth sense is kinda weird: “I could sense you were on your period.“

Mark, the bulimic?: “I like puking. It makes you feel so much better.“